5 Essential Mindset Shifts for Self-Care September
When my daughter was very young, I was lucky if I managed one workout a week. I’d bring her to the barre studio, she’d play in the kids’ area, and afterward we’d grab a treat at the coffee shop next door.
Looking back, I realize the ritual itself—getting out of the house, sharing the outing with my daughter, adding joy to the experience—mattered more than the workout.
In those early years of motherhood, I was learning about self-care.
What Self-Care Really Means
Self-care is the practice of intentionally supporting your own well-being—physically, mentally and emotionally—so you can protect your energy, feel your best, and show up in all of your glorious, beautiful, magical self.
It isn’t indulgence. It isn’t selfish “me time.” And it isn’t optional.
Unfortunately, self-care often gets confused with luxury moments like a massage, a pedicure, or a spa day. Yes, those are lovely and wonderful and I want them to be a part of your life.
But when we limit self-care to moments of indulgence, we miss the beautiful truth: self-care is the essential foundation for everything else.
So let’s reset the way we think about self-care. Here are five mindset shifts to redefine self-care. Because as Dr. Seuss says, “Today is your day.”
Today, you stand fully in your power and choose the self-care you need. That means no more apologies, no more guilt and no more excuses, my lovely.
Today is your day. You’re off to great places. You’re off and away.
– Dr. Seuss
Mindset Shift 1: Self-care is your responsibility.
Not a reward to be earned.
Please stop telling yourself you deserve this time. That word is loaded with baggage and negativity.
When you’re saying you “deserve” it, you’re treating it like a prize at the end of a long day or something you get to have only when everything else is done. And it becomes a trap to excuse yourself from doing it at all.
So instead of giving yourself a weak little “I deserve this” pep talk, proclaim with all of your power: Self-care is my responsibility.
You don’t need permission. You don’t need to earn it.
You get to claim this as part of who you are and how you live your most delicious life.
Mindset Shift 2: Self-care can be simple.
I’m growing tired of the images of spa days and girls’ weekends portraying self-care. While those can certainly be ways to nourish your spirit, self-care doesn’t have to be a big grand gesture.
It can be as simple as taking a five-minute break, pausing to breathe, creating a pocket of joy in your day.
What matters is you’re making a decision with the explicit purpose of having a benefit for you—mind, body and joy.
And it’s not always about doing more. Sometimes, the thing you need is less.
I applauded my client who skipped a yoga class she had signed up for. (Some health coach, huh?) The hours leading up to class were stressful and hectic. She had a choice: keep rushing around to change clothes and then rush off to a class and then rush home.
Or pause. Take a breath. Create some space. She asked “What do I really need here?” And then she made a decision. That was a moment of self-care.
I wrote a series on reclaiming space, the magical potion you need to clear your mind, calm your body, and make room for joy to show up.
There are times When Choosing Nothing Is Everything.
The point isn’t what you do. It’s that you choose what supports you—body, mind and joy.
Mindset Shift 3: Self-care is proactive.
The most effective self-care is proactive, not reactive.
We often wait until we’re running on empty to realize that we need some tender care. That would kind of be like heading out on a road trip with an almost empty gas tank. You won’t get very far.
Instead, what do you do at the beginning of a road trip? You pack your snacks, you fill your gas tank and cue up the playlist. You prepare for the long haul. Or in my case, about two hours, because that’s how long it will be before I need a potty break.
Real self-care is the same.
When you schedule that workout class or make a walking date with a friend, that’s self-care.
When you look at your schedule and realize that a night in would be more beneficial than saying yes to one more invitation, that’s self-care.
When you pack a snack or lunch so you know you’ll have something nutritious and delicious to eat, that’s self-care.
I could go on, but I’m getting ahead of myself and I hope you get the point.
Self-care is making the choice for you BEFORE you feel drained or about to burst.
Mindset Shift 4: Self-care is bigger than this moment.
I know you’re joking when you say something like “I’m having this glass of wine for self-care.” or “I’m staying up to watch this show for self-care.”
But it’s worth asking: Is this actually caring for me, or am I calling it self-care because I want permission?
Those spontaneous “I’m having this treat” moments can be little acts of defiance that feel good in the moment. And maybe that’s exactly what you need. Maybe it’s delight, connection or a little freedom.
But what is it actually giving you? And is it what you really need?
Self-care is an intentional choice that supports you beyond the moment.
Here’s an example.
When I’m at home, I’m pretty regimented about my workout routine. That alarm goes off at 4:10 (and again at 4:19), and I’m ready to go under the orange glow (IYKYK).
But, put me in a hotel room and I’ll easily snooze past 7 a.m. You could say that’s self-care because I’m letting myself sleep in.
I could have convinced myself of that, too. But, I was thinking about these mindset shifts and I realized two things.
First of all, I already slept in. See the aforementioned alarm time. (Side note: I love any excuse to use the word aforementioned.)
Secondly, and more importantly, while staying in bed would definitely feel good in this moment, it really was not going to do much for me the rest of the day.
Later-today-me would feel so much better that early-morning-me had moved my body.
Self-care choices pay dividends compared to the time they take.
Mindset Shift 5: Self-care is the foundation for everything.
Not just to yourself, but also to the people and priorities you care about most. When you’re depleted, you can’t give your best to your family, your work, your friendships or your community.
When you’re nourished you show up differently. Your patience is longer. Your energy expands. Your clarity and creativity return. You radiate in a way people can feel.
Self-care is physical. Getting enough sleep. Eating food that nourishes you. Moving your body in ways that feel good. Making time to rest. It’s those appointments for physical therapy and your annual wellness check up.
Self-care is taking care of your mental health. Creating time to think, breathe or meditate. Creating space in your calendar.
I say more about creating space in your calendar with my article It’s Time to Get Selfish. And oh, my lovely, is it ever.
Self-care is personal. Only you know what you need. And so, it’s up to you to name it and to claim it.
Speaking of personal, self-care has shifted with every season of my life—and it will for you, too. The key is choosing it, every season, every day.
I hope that these mindset shifts help you to make the choices you need to take the best care of you in this season of your life.
Be well, my lovelies.
Keep reading to learn how to find the self-care rituals that are right for you.
Leave a Reply