Part 3 in a Series: Creating Space
For decades, I worked in an industry where time is literally money. We billed every 15 minutes.
If the day was packed with big projects, tracking time was easy. But many evenings, I’d stare at my timesheet thinking: I was busy all day — but doing what, exactly?
Ask anyone who bills their hours and you’ll hear the same thing (unless they’re one of those magical unicorns who enter every task as they go — the accounting department loves those people). For the rest of us? The hours slip away in a thousand tiny yeses.
Quick chats. Quick questions. Quick “Can you just take a look at this?” moments. And that’s just the office.
Outside of work, it’s more of the same:
- Do you have time to grab coffee?
- Do you have time to make something for the party?
- Do you have time to talk?
We’re constantly asked if we “have time.” But when it comes to our self-care, the real question isn’t whether you have time to do the thing. It’s whether you want to do the thing — and whether it truly serves your mind, body or joy.
“Selfish,” you’re thinking. I can feel the flinch.
But I believe self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential. Listen to the flight attendant: “Put your own mask on first.” Only — let’s not wait for a state of emergency to do it.
Something I work with on my clients that helps to answer that question is identifying your nourishing must dos.
These are the 3-5 things you know you need every day to feel your best – clear, strong and joyful.
Things that come up for my clients are daily movement, journaling, eating fresh fruits and vegetables. These aren’t luxuries — they’re the essential choices you make show up as your best self.
A good place to start looking is your morning routine (I wrote more about this in my Have a Good Morning Article.)
A quick audit: where’s it all going?
If you feel like you’re always pressed for time, responding with “I don’t have time” or “I’m so busy,” try paying closer attention this week.
- Look at your calendar. What’s actually scheduled? Does it nourish you?
- Notice the drive-bys. Those casual “sure, I can do that” favors you never write down.
- Add them up. It’s 10 minutes here, 20 there — on they’re own they are small. But together, they’re eating your margin like hungry teenagers.
Now ask:
- What do I wish I had time for?
- What do I need to feel nourished?
When you focus more on what nourishes you, your answers come faster and can make choices with more intention.
Good news: you do have time.
Just last week, I caught myself doing it. I said yes to a friend’s favor request, squeezed in an extra load of laundry, dropped off my daughter — and then realized I hadn’t breathed in about three hours.
None of those yeses were “bad.” But collectively? They cost me me.
Living well isn’t about stuffing in more or muscling up willpower to say no. It’s about choosing with intention. Every yes costs you something — sometimes, it costs you. And we rarely admit it.
Here’s your challenge.
Get selfish with your time. Treat it like it’s billable. Spend it like it’s your last bit of cash. Protect it like you’d protect your favorite dark chocolate stash.
Next time someone asks, Do you have time? Pause and ask yourself instead: How does this nourish my mind, my body or my joy?
Because the truth is, you do have time for self-care. It’s just waiting for you to use it with intention.
Stop asking if you have time. Start asking if it’s worth your time. Remember: it’s your time. Your mind, your body, your joy.
And you, my lovely, get to choose.
In the next article: we go deeper into emotional space by Choosing Nothing.
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