A mindful approach to drinking, eating, scrolling and other everyday indulgences.
Hello, my name is Margaret. I’m a seven on the Enneagram and my toxic trait is gluttony.
The first time the Enneagram served up that gluttony message to me, I felt a little attacked. That can happen when someone holds up a mirror.
While we tend to think of gluttony as the over-consumption of food or alcohol (which it is), it’s also the overindulgence of any resource or pleasure to the point of excess. (That was my little aha moment.)
Food. Alcohol. Shopping. Social media. TV. Work. Even staying busy. (Oh, I see you Busy Betty, so busy.)
Basically, all the things we take in even when we’ve had enough. Our cup runneth over and not in a good way.
About the Enneagram
I’m not an Enneagram expert, but I’m definitely an enthusiast.
The Enneagram is a personality framework that can help you better understand yourself—and other people.
Each of the nine types has its own fears, desires and motivations, along with patterns that can show up when we’re at our best (our virtues) and when we’re not (hello, toxic traits).
If you’re curious about your type or want to learn more, check out the official source.
So when the Enneagram pops in and tells me to try on my virtue of sobriety, what it’s really asking is:
Where are you in excess? Are you noticing when too much is too much? (Well, I am now.)
A new spin on sobriety.
We usually associate sobriety with abstaining from alcohol. And we tend to think of quitting something as giving it up forever.
For some people, that kind of declaration can be powerful—or necessary.
But sobriety can also give us a useful lens for thinking about where we are in excess. The times we take in too much or hold on for too long. Sobriety can be a way to consider what we might be ready to let go of.
Taking care of ourselves isn’t only about what we add. Sometimes it’s about what we release. Read more about this idea in Choosing Simple Again.
That’s the kind of sober I’m interested in exploring this September.
Not necessarily abstinence or punishment.
Not “I’m never doing this again.”
Just consuming a little less automatically, choosing a little more intentionally and letting go a little more freely.
Because healthy living doesn’t always require a dramatic change.
When I look at the changes that have made the biggest difference in my own life—and the changes I see my clients make—they’re almost always small, steady shifts. Micro choices we practice until they become habits.
September is for practice.
One of the many things I love about yoga is that what we practice on the mat prepares us for life off the mat. We learn to be still when things are quiet so we can access stillness when life gets loud. We learn to control our breathing in a calm room so we can remember to breathe amid the chaos.
Right now, we’re in that weird in-between season when the weather is telling us it’s still summer and pumpkin spice everything is telling us it’s fall.
Before we know it, the holidays will be here. The holidays, also known as a masterclass in over-consumption.
More food. More drinks. More shopping. More parties. More invitations. More everything.
Which is why I think September is the perfect time to practice.
What if we used September to practice some kind of sober?
Choosing your sober.
We all have that thing we do before we know we’re doing it. Walking in the door and pouring a glass of wine, stopping at a light and checking your phone, raiding the pantry at 3 p.m., doom spending.
Yeah, I know. It feels good to check out. You’ve had a long day and you deserve to relax. That last call was exhausting, you need a break. Valid.
And also, there are other ways to get that release.
It starts with paying attention.
1. Notice your more.
Where do you tend to overconsume?
When do you reach for more even though you’re no longer particularly enjoying it?
When do you find yourself consuming something almost automatically?
When does something that once felt pleasurable start to feel more like a reflex?
Maybe something immediately comes to mind. Maybe it doesn’t. You don’t have to manufacture an answer. Just commit to paying attention.
If you already have my Glow Guide, a daily HOLLA is a great place to start. Try it for a few days and pay particular attention to your “off” moments.
Don’t fix anything yet. And please no negative self talk.
Just notice your more.
My free Glow Guide offers a simple weekly practice to help you pause, check in and choose what will help you feel a little better in your mind, body and life.
2. Make one micro-edit.
This is not: I’m never eating another cookie.
We’re going to pick one very specific thing and make the change easy.
Easy? I like hard things.
I’m sure you do, Ambitious Annie. It’s what makes you so successful in many areas of your life. But that’s not how this game is played.
Pick a thing. A behavior you do on autopilot.
Practice the pause. Before you automatically reach for it, give yourself a beat.
Get curious. What are you actually looking for right now? Pleasure? Comfort? A break? A way to check out?
Choose. Maybe you still want the thing. Great. Or maybe there’s another way to get what you need.
I was working with a client who knew she was overconsuming wine.
Her nightly glass had become more like a reflex than a relaxing ritual. So mindless that some nights it went down like water.
My answer wasn’t: Cut out the wine.
It was: Let’s try adding some mindfulness.
We added back the romance of the special evening beverage. She experimented with making non-alcoholic cocktails.
She wasn’t giving up wine. She was giving up autopilot.
A note about alcohol: There’s a difference between mindless drinking and a problematic relationship with alcohol. While mindfulness and behavior change are within my coaching practice, addiction treatment is not.
If you’re concerned about your alcohol use, moderation may not be the right approach for you, and I encourage you to seek support from a qualified professional.
Another client noticed she was mindlessly eating chocolate chips after dinner.
There’s nothing wrong with sitting down to enjoy some chocolate—or your dessert of choice.
It’s the grabbing a handful as you walk through the kitchen, barely registering that you ate it, then coming back for another, that’s worth noticing.
Is it “bad” because it’s too many calories? Too much sugar?
Who knows.
What I can say for sure is that it wasn’t intentional. Somewhere along the way, she stopped choosing.
And that’s what we’re practicing here: getting the choice back.
And maybe your thing has nothing to do with food or alcohol.
Maybe it’s the nightly doom scroll.
What is the scrolling giving you?
Maybe the answer is: I need to check out.
And all the women said, I see you!
So instead of telling yourself you’re no longer allowed to check out, what if you experimented with another way to get what you need?
Try Legs Up the Wall. That’s a real thing.
This is a gentle, restorative inversion where you lie on your back and rest your legs vertically against a wall.
I read once that Legs up the Wall increases your likelihood of giving a f*&k by approximately 90%.
Give or take.
The point isn’t to remove every indulgence from your life.
It’s to notice when indulgence stops feeling like pleasure and starts feeling like autopilot.
3. Notice what changes.
Try your micro-edit for a week and again, pay attention.
What do you notice?
How do you feel?
Maybe you feel like you want more practice.
Maybe you feel so good that you’re ready to experiment with another micro-edit.
That’s up to you. This isn’t a challenge with levels to complete.
It’s practice.
Some kind of sober.
Soon enough, life is going to get louder.
More food. More drinks. More shopping. More parties. More invitations. More everything.
So September is our practice.
Practice noticing.
Practice choosing.
Practice letting go of a little of what we don’t need so there’s more space for what we do.
Not a commitment to abstinence. Not a feeling of deprivation.
Just some kind of sober.
That’s the better than perfect way.
Discover the gifts of self-care.
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