b’vive.

Article 2 in a Series: Creating Space

I was suspended off the floor, my legs still in the cross-legged position, and my arms and body wrapped tightly around the basketball. I was determined not to let go.

Do you know that feeling? When you have such a tight grip that nothing will convince you to let it go?

I’ve never been good at sports. My highest accolade was usually an award for participation.

In middle school — standing just over five feet tall with two left feet— I played basketball.

From what I understand about the game, the idea is to move the basketball from your opponent’s end of the court to your end and get the ball into your basket. It’s generally a quick-moving game with lots of passing, dribbling, shooting, running, and very high energy.

But I guess even at that age, I knew to lean into my strengths — which apparently were none of those things, except maybe high energy in the form of a big attitude.

I was on defense and clearly heard the coach say, “Once you have the ball, never let it go.”

Is that what he really said? Is that really good basketball advice? I have no idea, but it’s the part my brain held onto — quite literally.

Somehow, in the chaos of a game, I did have the ball. When a girl on the opposing team tried to take it from me. I hugged my arms around the entire ball and sat down. She pulled so hard that she lifted my entire body off the ground, while I held on for dear life.

As long as I gripped that ball, the game wasn’t moving forward.

This is an article series about creating space, so why are we talking about sports? I’m getting there.

Your mind is like a basketball court

Even if you’re not into the sports ball, let’s play this game for a minute. Imagine your mind is like a basketball court.

Every text message that pings your phone, every email you read, every song you listen to, every voice you hear — they’re all players on the court. And they all bring energy.

Some of it’s good energy that keeps the game going and the crowd cheering. Sometimes it’s a shove, a push, or a block and that’s a foul, which we’ll call negative energy.

This is where I could turn the metaphor and tell you sometimes you have to referee your own life and we need to do a quick audit of your mental inputs and determine what needs a timeout but I don’t want to do that because I think there’s a bigger lesson here.

What Needs a Timeout?

Okay fine, let’s do that really quickly because this could be an easy win for you. Just like those spice jars, a little change can have a big impact.

What feels like it might need a timeout?

What do you feel like you’re bumping into mentally?

• You pick up your phone to make a note, and a notification pops up, distracting you.
  
• You open your computer to start a presentation, and Slack pings with an urgent request.
  
• You scroll through social media for a mental break, and that account pops up that makes you roll your eyes.
  
• You’re deep in thought, and a text message dings.
  
• The noise from the TV oscillates between white noise and nails on a chalkboard.

Pay attention to how your body responds to these inputs. If it’s a tensing of the shoulders, an eyeroll, holding your breath, a deep groan . . . these are all signs that something is draining you.

Consider what you can turn off so that you can keep your clear head and focus. Not to say that you will never read another text message or email again. But you do have a choice on when and where. And how loud you let those inputs be in your life.

Those inputs — the pings, the noise, the irritations, the disruptions — are little energy leaks.

If you can spot them and patch them up, you’ll likely notice a little pep in your step — a feeling of lightness. Like that first sip of coffee in the morning, it just feels good.

Do you pick one thing?

Okay, good. Let’s move on. Because this is the bigger thing.

Your Next Play: Creating Mental Space

And this will take a bit more work, because it’s more than a ping or a little push.

Maybe something in that last email really set you off, and you’re ruminating on it.

Maybe it’s a person in your life who tends to say hurtful things that make you question yourself — even though you know you are beautiful and amazing (so please, stop listening to that a-hole).

Sometimes we hold onto things in our minds the way I held onto that basketball. And while it feels like we’re playing the game, we’ve actually stopped it.

We’ve stopped everything. That basketball you’re holding onto is blocking good energy from moving through you.

Let today be the day that you start to create space inside your mind where energy flows freely.

I invite you to notice your own mental game. When is your mind holding on too tightly?

When could you call a timeout, take a breath, and let something go?

Imagine what your heart might release or your arms might hold.

As they say in yoga, “Arms out, heart open.”

Be well, my lovelies.

And now it’s Time to Get Selfish.

Margaret Faintich

b’vive