Part 3: Your guide to an intentional summer
Have you read Sheryl Sandberg’s book on leaning in? If you don’t know, she was the COO of Facebook for a long time — so as a woman in leadership in the tech industry, a mostly male industry, you can imagine she had some profound insights and wisdom.
Sandberg talks about how many women unintentionally “lean back” — they hesitate to pursue opportunities or leadership roles — often preemptively limiting themselves due to expectations about work-life balance, motherhood, or fear of being judged.
Whether or not you are career minded, I think we can all relate to the fear of being judged.
Instead, she encourages women to: sit at the table (literally and figuratively), speak up and overcome the fear or self-doubt that holds them back.
Another icon, Brene Brown also writes about leaning in.
In leadership and personal relationships, Brown emphasizes the importance of not turning away from hard conversations. Leaning in means staying present even when it’s uncomfortable — because that’s often where growth and connection happen. Think about that friendship that grew stronger after that one disagreement.
My takeaway from Brown is that to “lean in” means to be ambitious in any pursuit, to own your voice and be unapologetically engaged. Doesn’t that feel so empowering? Unapologetically engaged!
I first read the books by both of these amazing women long before my health coaching journey started. At the time, I was very focused on leadership, career and personal growth.
With my nutrition and wellness hat on, I can’t help but see the connections to eating to nourish, loving your body and living with intention for mind, body and joy.
Here are three themes that come up for me and some thoughts on how you can apply these ideas to your personal wellness plan.
Choosing presence over avoidance.
A wellness journey can feel lonely, especially when you are the first in your family or friend group to start making changes. (I intentionally did not say only because it’s only a matter of time before your behavior begins to influence others. I believe in you, queen.) That feeling of isolation can lead us to decide it might be easier to stay home from the party or skip the gathering because being the only one who doesn’t want to drink a bottle of wine and eat a full plate of cheese just feels too hard.
As we learn to follow our hearts and listen to our bodies, we can find ways to show up for the event and our people while still honoring our own journeys. Living well is about making choices that feel good — mind, body and joy — and not just in the moment.
Moving toward discomfort as a path to growth.
In choosing presence, you might think you are stepping into two kinds of discomfort — physical and emotional.
The Huberman Lab has an episode interviewing author Michael Easter about his experience and research on growth from discomfort. His examples range from extreme — like wilderness excursions with limited supplies — to everyday choices we can make — like carrying a basket in the grocery store rather than pushing a cart. While these challenges take some mental grit, I’d put these in the physical category.
If you’ve tried hot yoga or walking with a weighted vest or a really intense HIIT class, I think you’ve experienced physical discomfort that can lead to growth.
Emotional discomfort can mean saying no thank you to the fries because you know how you’ll feel after, leaving the party in time to get a good night’s sleep, bringing a lighter appetizer because it’s what you want to eat.
Approaching life with intention, courage and openness.
A leap or a full cannonball into the deep waters may not be what you need. While that initial plunge can feel exhilarating, the shock is often too much . . .
At the beginning of any season, I invite my clients to set an intention, which is different from a goal. It might be in service of a goal, it might help lead you to a specific outcome, but it’s a different energy. And it’s the focus of your energy.
Living in our current behaviors and patterns feels comfortable. So, even when we know in our hearts that we need to make a change, our brains can resist the change and push us back to our old patterns.
Our minds are designed to keep us from trying new things, our brains will automatically tell us all of the dangers of a new behavior. Because new is unknown, it takes focus and bravery to step into new territory. It takes courage to set boundaries that you know might upset someone else, but are ultimately better for you.
That is why a leap or a full cannonball into the deep waters may not be what you need. While that initial plunge can feel exhilarating, the shock is often too much for people to stay in the water, stay in the experience, and keep practicing the behavior that will make a difference.
Perhaps we might try a lean into the water, a dipping of the toe, a gradual entry into the unknown.
I invite you to think about what it means to you to lean into living well this summer. And I hope that this is one more nutritious choice you can make to feel your best — mind, body and joy.
Be well, my lovelies.
The literal meaning of “lean” is to incline, bend, or rest at an angle, typically without falling. It describes a physical action or position involving support or tilt. I say more about literal leaning in Part 4: Practical Ways to Lean Into Summer.
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