Five Ways to Enjoy the Best Kind of Love
Why hello. Welcome to the season of love.
To kick off the season, let’s first talk about, as the great Whitney Houston taught us, the greatest love of all. Because “learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all.”
And to put it squarely in the context of health and wellness. Self care. It’s a part of our wellness. Some might say that any healthy choice we make for our mind, body or spirit is self care. And that’s true.
Fun fact: The Greatest Love of All was originally written for the movie The Greatest about Muhammid Ali. Lyrics by Linda Creed. But I grew up with Whitney singing it, so while the song had a life long before Whitney, to me, it is her song.
Cars need some basics like oil, fuel, fluids and filters (IDK what they are, but the mechanics are always telling me one of them is low). Our bodies are the same. We need some basics like food, exercise, sleep, sunlight, etc.
Self love is like the next level up in car care. Extra power in the engine. Fancy tinting in the windows. The car works the same, but it’s more fun to drive.
Enough about cars, let’s talk about love.
The Five Love Languages
Have you heard of the Five Love Languages created by Dr. Gary Chapman? The idea is that we express and receive love in different ways. Someone might be expressing love to you in a “language” that you may or may not be understanding. Here’s a quick review as I understand them:
Acts of service. What someone does for you, like doing the grocery shopping or folding the laundry.
Gifts. Presents! Obvi.
Quality time. Spending time with the person you love in a meaningful way.
Touch. As my husband says “making nice.” It can be holding hands, playing with someone’s hair, yadda yadda yadda.
Words of affirmation. Giving compliments and verbal appreciation.
For more go to the expert. But, I wanted to give you a sense of it or a refresher so we can apply those same principles to self love.
Languages of Self Love
If there are different ways to express or receive love from others, then might there also be different ways to express love to ourselves?
What if . . .
Acts of Service becomes Doing Something for Yourself. Or rather, letting someone else do something for you. i.e. letting someone else clean your house, drive the car or make your dinner.
Gifts are still gifts but Gifts to Yourself. That fancy new water bottle or a new pair of running shoes. “As the song goes, baby, you’re with it.”
Quality Time becomes Making Time for Yourself, for the things that balance and recharge you. Whether it’s to read your book, take a bath, meditate. You deserve you time.
Touch turns into Enjoying the Magic of Touch. Wearing fabric that feels good, enjoying a snuggle sesh, giving (and receiving) enough hugs. Virginia Satir, family therapist and author, said that we need four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance and 12 for growth.
Do pet snuggles count? I think so. I have no science to back that up, just my heart.
Words of Affirmation is still Words of Affirmation: saying kind and encouraging words to yourself. And here, I do have science. The parts of your brain that process language – what scientists call the language network – also control things inside your body like heart rate, hormones and breathing. Words in your mind really do change your body.
The power of words is not a metaphor; it’s in our brain wiring.
– Lisa Feldman Barrett, Ph.D.
The words you say to yourself affect how you feel, how you think and where you go from there.
Expressing Love to Ourselves
As you read through the five types of self love above you may have thought “oh that sounds nice,” or “no thanks.” There will be languages that you naturally gravitate towards. You do do.
But if you ask me, it all starts with Words of Affirmation.
This is your wellness journey, give yourself lots of love along the way.
Five Ways to Love Yourself:
*Do Something For Yourself. Or rather, let someone else do something nice for you.
*Buy Yourself a Gift. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just meaningful to you.
*Take Time For You. It can be an hour. It can be 10 minutes. Go for a walk. Take a bath. Read the book. It’s you time.
*Enjoy a Touch. Get a hug (or 12) from someone you love. Get a manicure or pedicure and enjoy the massage.
*Say Kind Words to Yourself. If you do nothing else, pick something nice to say to yourself. Use your words for good. One of my favorite lines comes from a book I used to read to my daughter when she was little, “The One and Only Ever You,” by Nancy Tillman.
You are the one and only you.
Be well, my lovelies.
Margaret Faintich is on a mission to help us all live in a world where taking care of our health and wellness is the norm. Where we can eat nutritious and delicious food every day because they are the same and that’s just how we live.
She shares inspiration and guidance through the lens of mind, body and spirit.
Margaret Faintich is the founder of B’Vive Co. and a Nutritious Life Master Certified Nutrition and Wellness Coach.
She is a yoga lover and OrangeTheory Fitness enthusiast.
Leave a Reply