How to Make it a Habit
November is the month of gratitude and this is one of my favorite times of the year. There is so much to be grateful for with the changing of the seasons reminding us that life goes on and the effervescence of the holiday season bubbling in.
I love that there is a holiday all about giving thanks, being with friends and family and enjoying good food.
I love that we have a whole month to be grateful.
Why do I care so much about gratitude?
The practice of gratitude has been linked to many health benefits including lower risk of heart disease and lower symptoms of depression.
Sometimes it’s hard to be motivated to do something when the impact feels far away or irrelevant.
Well, how about this. Three immediate benefits of gratitude:
Improve your mood.
Gratitude brings more positive thoughts that can soothe the nervous system and release positive neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine. You know, that rush of feel good feelings we’re all seeking through quick fixes like social media or alcohol.
Change your perspective.
Swap those negative thoughts for positive thoughts. See what you do have, instead what you don’t have.
One of my favorite books on parenting is “Bringing Up Bebe” by Pamela Druckerman. In one chapter, she explains that there is a Sunday morning custom in France that tells the husband to bring home croissants for breakfast. (I tried very hard to get my husband to adopt this custom, but that is not the point of this story, which of course she tells much more eloquently in the book but I’m sharing a short version here to make a point.) So, one Sunday morning her husband goes out to get the croissants and returns with a baguette, which is clearly not what she asked for.
And her response (and this is where the gratitude comes in) is an enthusiastic “I love this baguette!”
I think about this story often when I’m disappointed in a situation. It’s fine to feel disappointment for whatever reason, a feeling comes over me and I can’t control that. But, I can choose to think about the situation in a different way. I can choose to name something to be grateful for. Maybe it’s not what I asked for, but I sure didn’t have to do much for it. That’s something to be grateful for.
Build connection.
Just like in the baguette story, being grateful for what someone else does, the effort put forth, even if you don’t like the outcome, is an opportunity to build connection. And ultimately, stronger connections lead to stronger relationships and happier lives. It starts with connection.
Some of the best leaders I’ve ever worked with end each meeting with a “thank you,’’ even when the discussion was tense or sticky. “Thank you for being here and working through this . . . Thank you for caring enough to share your opinion.”
Improving your mood, changing your perspective and building connection are all things that lead to an overall healthier lifestyle and healthier choices.
Naming gratitudes is one of the easiest and most immediately rewarding things you can do for your health and well-being.
It takes no time. You can be grateful while you’re doing anything else.
It costs nothing.
Requires no special equipment or planning.
If the emotional and mental benefits have not yet convinced you, gratitude can also change how you eat.
Try adding a gratitude practice before you eat. This moment of pause gives you a chance to assess your plate, think about why you are eating, check your portions and proportions. And, that moment of pause can be what you need to adjust your mood or perspective so that you can eat for nourishment, not punishment or reward.
I wrote a series on eating. Your reasons or motivation for eating can affect what and how much you eat. Read more about a healthy mindset for why, what and how much to eat. Start with Why Are You Eating.
Making it a habit
Practicing gratitude is like building any other muscle. The more you do it, the easier it gets. So, here are a few ways to add some gratitude to your life. Better yet, make gratitude a habit.
Set a time.
Decide on a regular time of day that works for you. At dinner time or at bedtimes as you reflect on the day.
Have you heard of high low, what do you know?
Turn that into a dinner time gratitude.
What’s one thing you were grateful for today.
Pair it with another activity.
Pick a thing you do at least 2-3 times a day, like:
Brushing your teeth. Not trying to be presumptuous but I hope ( and your dentist does, too) that you’re doing this at least twice a day.
Washing your hands. In the 20-30 seconds that you’re moving that soap around (like the CDC tells you), name a gratitude!
Filling your water bottle. Instead of being annoyed that it takes so long, name something you’re thankful for. Maybe it’s that very moment, you’re thankful for a chance to pause.
Use it as a distraction.
In an inconvenient situation, like stopped at a red light or standing in line. Instead of reaching for your phone and filling your head with more noise, take the moment to be thankful.
I am grateful you are taking a few minutes for your self care. I’m so grateful you found your way to my page. And I’m beyond grateful that you’re reading my words.
Be well, my lovelies.
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