Three Ways to Bring Your Best Healthy Self to the Table
Have you been told that the secret to maintaining your workout routine is finding a buddy? There is some truth to that. But it’s about more than accountability.
Have you ever set a health goal that forces you to disconnect from people you care about? It feels so unfair.
Our brains are neurologically wired for community. Being part of a community is known to be a key factor in your overall health and wellbeing. In fact, belonging to a community can help you live longer, according to studies on the Blue Zones.
“Blue Zone” is a non-scientific term given to geographic regions that are home to some of the world’s oldest people. It was first used by the author Dan Buettner, who was studying areas of the world in which people live exceptionally long lives.
And yet, often when we are making choices to live a healthier lifestyle, we can feel isolated and disconnected from our communities.
In her book Atlas of the Heart, Brené Brown explores the difference between belonging and fitting in. It’s like this, in middle school, we dress like everyone else and act like everyone so we can be like everyone else to be accepted. In our adult years, sometimes in our 30s, definitely by our 40s, we know who we are and we find people who love us for who we are (not who we pretend to be).
The obvious reason is that being part of a community helps us to combat loneliness. More importantly, being part of a community helps to shape who we are.
The prevailing wisdom is that you become most like the people you spend most of your time with.
If you want to be a person who eats well, surround yourself with people who eat well.
If you want to be a person who works out regularly, surround yourself with people who work out.
“Get yourself into the right tribe.” says Buettner, author of the Blue Zones.
The problem is if you’re working to become your healthiest self and your tribe is not, you can feel isolated or lonely on your journey.
I have experienced this when trying on a cleanse and have witnessed my friends experiencing this when they try a challenge like Whole30 or 75 Hard. There is so much to say “no” to. It feels like there is no activity that doesn’t involve alcohol, dessert or fried food of some kind.
The healthy choices you’re trying to make don’t fit in with the norm. So the best choice often is to stay home.
What if the opposite were true. What if your healthy choices can have a positive impact on the people around you? We’re all adults here. We don’t have to fit in to be accepted. We can be who we are and make choices that feel right to us.
Your Wellness Community
I have a group of friends, we call each other our Fierce Pack. We started as a book club, but our interests, connections and support of one another goes far beyond books and a monthly meeting.
Do we get together once a month and drink wine and talk about books? We do. The book discussion is mandatory, the wine drinking is not.
In fact, it’s quite common for the host to send out a message and ask for any dietary restrictions.
There is often someone who is working to drink more water, drink less wine or just eat better. Last month the menu included a Whole30 kale soup, sourdough bread, fresh veggies and my homemade granola.
We also get together for walking, running, yoga and meal prep.
I hope you have a friend or a group like my Fierce Pack, where you feel like you belong. Where you can be working to be your best healthy self and be accepted wherever you are on that journey. Whether you do or don’t, that’s one of many communities that we are a part of. Most of us don’t live in a Utopian Health and Wellness Compound.
The daily reality for most of is that when we are trying on a new healthy behavior – whether it’s trying an anti-inflammatory diet or starting a new workout routine – it can force us to make choices that feel isolated from our people or inconsistent with our healthy selves that we are trying to become.
I don’t want that for myself, for you or for any of us.
Getting to a New Normal
I want us to live in a world where healthy choices are the norm. Where we can be healthy and belong.
How do we get there?
Making one choice at a time.
The goal is not to live a life of deprivation. The goal is to live your healthiest life. Your health is not separate from life. That means you can make choices that are good for your mind, body and joy.
That could look like:
*Signing up for your workout class and checking in with your workout buddy.
*Taking a walking date with your spouse.
*Being the person who brings the salad, vegetable side dish or sparkling water to your next dinner party.
*Celebrating someone in your office with homemade scones instead of donuts.
*Letting the next text you send be one of love or gratitude – because building relationships and community is a building block to a life of health and wellness.
Every day brings opportunities to make choices that are aligned with the healthy person we want to be.
Taking time to reflect.
Give yourself credit for the healthy choices you’re making, forgiveness and grace when you need rest.
Read my article on reflection to learn more about checking in with your goals to stay motivated.
Remembering that we’re on a journey.
This is not a challenge you’re doing for 30 days. A crash diet before swimsuit season. You’re building a life. You’re making a healthier you. Some days will be easier than others. But it’s the choices we make every day, the people we spend our time with, the words we tell ourselves, the way we treat our body . . . every day, that create our healthy selves.
We are all on a wellness journey. Journeys are full of ups and downs. Moments of greatness and moments of disappointment. Moments to remember and moments to learn from.
I hope that you find a community to support you along the way and I hope they see how lucky they are to have you supporting them.
Be well, my lovelies.
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