b’vive.

Article 4 in a Series: Creating Space

I had just finished a six-hour marathon of Zoom calls. I’ve never run an actual marathon, but I imagine it would feel a lot like this. Except runners get a high at the end, and I just got brain fog.

I drifted into the kitchen, searching the cabinets for comfort. Peanut butter — a heaping spoonful. Hmm … this needs something. A date? Maybe. Chocolate chips! YASSSS! More of that, please.

You might say that sounds like a “healthy snack.” But the intention wasn’t to nourish because I wasn’t hungry. I was crowded.

Side note: My rant on “healthy” coming soon.

We can glance at a calendar and see there’s no space. We can look around a room and see clutter closing in. But when it comes to emotional space, the signs are far easier to miss.

When there’s no room inside.

The thing about being busy — or just feeling busy — is that we pack our lives so tightly there’s no space to process what we’re feeling. No pause. No breath.

And when there’s no space, our emotions don’t go away — they spill over into feelings of anxiety, impatience, irritability. The insomnia, the mindless eating, the need to numb, these are signs that your cup runneth over. And not in a living Hope Floats kind of way.

You might think those feelings come from somewhere else (and maybe they do) but nothing in us happens in isolation. Physical energy affects mental clarity. Mental stress shapes our emotions. And our emotions, in turn, affect our sleep, our relationships and our choices in the kitchen.

Listen, my toxic trait is gluttony so I get it.

I’m a 7 on the enneagram, so this is documented fact, not just self-deprecating humor.

Let nothing be enough.

We talk about “making time” for ourselves, but the thing is, we already have it. We just let it be filled with noise.

Sometimes the most nutritious choice isn’t a meal prep session or a workout. Sometimes it’s doing nothing. At least, what looks like nothing. What your emotions need most is room. So today, let nothing be enough and do a thing we think of as nothing, but is actually quite something. 

That might look like:

A pause. Whether you notice it right away or as you’re reaching for your comfort food, name what you’re feeling. Just that pause is powerful.

A deep breath. Try box breathing: inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four. Even one minute can calm your nervous system. Andrew Huberman, professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford University, often talks about using the physiological sigh, a double inhale followed by a long exhale, to reduce stress.

A few minutes of meditation. Sit in silence. Lie down. Close your eyes. Need more of a moving meditation? Take a walk without your phone. Flow through your own yoga or go for a swim. The important thing is to give your mind space to process what it already holds.

A moment of gratitude. These are tiny pockets of emotional space the universe keeps handing you. Just say thank you and let yourself be. That might look like:

• Going to the bathroom and leaving your phone behind.
• Taking a shower with the music off, letting your mind wander.
• Driving. And just driving. No music, no podcast, no phone calls.
• Waiting in line and appreciating that there’s a line, this little gift of time to pause, to breathe, to do nothing.
  

Sometimes, when you feel overwhelmed and don’t know what to do, the best thing to do is nothing.

What it feels like to choose nothing.

I once read that lying on your back with your legs up the wall significantly reduces your “give a f*&ks,” and I can attest that it’s true.

Last week, I had a day when I felt overwhelmed, so instead of reaching for the pantry, I went for the floor. Legs up the wall, lying flat, with my puppy trying to lick my face, I let myself be for a few minutes.

At first, it felt forced. Then my thoughts slowed. I noticed the cool floor, the hum of the room, the soft fur brushing my arm. By the time I got up, I felt lighter. Not fixed, not perfect — just clear on my next right thing.

Living well isn’t just what you eat or how often you exercise. It’s creating inner room to hear yourself, clearing the way to follow your heart, so your choices flow from calm and clarity rather than fear or overwhelm. And doesn’t that sound delightful?

I hope that this idea of nothing, can be one more choice you feel empowered to make for your most nutritious and delicious life.

Be well, my lovelies.

To find the kind of space you need, read the full series.

I do this kind of inner work with my coaching clients. If you’re looking for more support on your wellness journey, check out my personalized coaching page.

Margaret Faintich

b’vive